Independent response

Use after teaching. Keep the model and guided-practice pages available if the task permits them.

Independent draft: The Club Page

Original fictional instructional draft.

The newsletter has a page about clubs. It comes first. Readers looked for meeting days. They were in the middle. Some readers missed it. The class moved them to the top. It was easier to find them. The page still had club descriptions.

Independent revision

Independently revise “The Club Page” into a paragraph a reader can follow. When “it,” “they,” or “them” names a person or thing, make its referent clear. Also recast “It was easier to find them” so the sentence names what was easier to find. Keep the same meaning: the newsletter begins with a club page; meeting days were in the middle and some readers missed them; the class moved the meeting days to the top; the draft says the meeting days were easier to find after the move; the page still included club descriptions. You may change sentence order and wording, and you may combine or split sentences. Do not add new reasons, events, or results. After revising, underline one change that improved clarity or coherence and briefly name what it helps a reader understand.

Revision check

Use this check while revising the independent draft. The task gives the intended meaning. Keep it in view, then reread your whole paragraph.

What meaning and information must stay?

________________________________________

Which reference or connection may confuse a reader?

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Revised paragraph

________________________________________

One change I made and what it helps a reader understand

________________________________________

Original fictional sample draft “The Garden Map.”

Original fictional sample draft “The Library Sign.”

Original fictional sample draft “The Club Page.”