Cards 15–16 and recording space

Cards 15–16 · print and cut apart

Card 15 of 16 — Supply Map

Read this fictional scene, question, and first draft. Record your revision and why it fits; correct unsupported statements that conflict with it. Use extra paper, dictation, or your usual response method if needed.

The art room stored glue, rulers, and scissors in three labeled bins. A small map by the doorway showed the bins and used arrows from the entrance. Before the map was posted, learners often asked where the scissors were. On the next work day, fewer learners asked. Student draft: “The map was put up on Friday because it was new.”

Task: Question: What feature of the map helped learners find the scissors? Remove the unrelated timing detail and use a detail that explains the result.

Card 16 of 16 — Ramp Test

Read this fictional scene, question, and first draft. Record your revision and why it fits; correct unsupported statements that conflict with it. Use extra paper, dictation, or your usual response method if needed.

The makers’ group rolled a wooden bead down a small model ramp. On the first try, the bead rolled off at the side. The group attached two low rails along the ramp. In the next try, the bead stayed on the ramp to the end. Student draft: “The purple paint looked exciting, so the rails were a great choice.”

Task: Question: What test evidence supports the choice to add rails? Remove the unsupported paint comment and replace it with the before-and-after observations and what they show in this test.

Revision recording sheet · Cards 13–16

For each card, circle the revision move, write or dictate your change, and name the printed detail that supports it. Explain why the detail fits the question. Use extra paper if needed; a clear combined sentence may give both the revision and its explanation.

Card 13

Revision move (circle): add evidence / explain link / narrow claim / remove or replace off-topic material

My revision:

________________________________________________________

Evidence and why it fits:

________________________________________________________

Card 14

Revision move (circle): add evidence / explain link / narrow claim / remove or replace off-topic material

My revision:

________________________________________________________

Evidence and why it fits:

________________________________________________________

Card 15

Revision move (circle): add evidence / explain link / narrow claim / remove or replace off-topic material

My revision:

________________________________________________________

Evidence and why it fits:

________________________________________________________

Card 16

Revision move (circle): add evidence / explain link / narrow claim / remove or replace off-topic material

My revision:

________________________________________________________

Evidence and why it fits:

________________________________________________________